


Rock and Roll McDonald's

by yuuen



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angriest Deer in the Headlights Ever, Crack, Gen, McDonald's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23424772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuuen/pseuds/yuuen
Summary: MCDONALD'S DRIVE-THRU, 11:38 PMThe drive-thru is surprisingly packed for a late night. Next in line to order is a shitty, beat-up Acura packed to the brim with starving young men.In the driver's seat, Sylvain, who has (unfortunately for his friends) decided to blast his infamousSongs That Get White People TurntSpotify playlist. Riding shotgun, Felix, with his face buried in his hand. In the backseat: Dedue, who wanted to hit up Taco Bell instead but was outvoted; yawning Dimitri, whose bedtime was an hour and thirty-eight minutes ago; and Ashe, squeezed into the middle, bobbing his head from side to side, the sole appreciator of Sylvain's DJing.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert & Dedue Molinaro, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	Rock and Roll McDonald's

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Camp FANoWriMo](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/CampFANoWriMo_Apr2020), #28 - Flight.

**_MCDONALD'S DRIVE-THRU, 11:38 PM_ **

The drive-thru is surprisingly packed for a late night. Next in line to order is a shitty, beat-up Acura packed to the brim with starving young men.

In the driver's seat, Sylvain, who has (unfortunately for his friends) decided to blast his infamous _Songs That Get White People Turnt_ Spotify playlist. Riding shotgun, Felix, with his face buried in his hand. In the backseat: Dedue, who wanted to hit up Taco Bell instead but was outvoted; yawning Dimitri, whose bedtime was an hour and thirty-eight minutes ago; and Ashe, squeezed into the middle, bobbing his head from side to side, the sole appreciator of Sylvain's DJing.

"Can you, like, at least turn it down?" Felix gripes.

"What?" Sylvain yells back over "Don't Stop Me Now."

"Fuck this," Felix mutters.

Sylvain finally does turn it down as they move closer to the speaker. "All right, nerds, gimme your orders."

"Chicken nuggets!" Ashe exclaims. (His parents never let him have McDonald's as a kid, so it's always an adventure for him.)

"Sauce?" Sylvain asks.

"Sweet and sour!"

"Good. If it was anything else I'd throw you outta my car."

Ashe beams.

"Chalupa," Dedue says.

"Really, asshole?" Sylvain shoots back, not even just glaring at Dedue in the rear-view but craning his head to show him he means business.

"Big Mac," Dedue capitulates, crossing his ridiculously massive arms. "Large fries."

"I would like the same," Dimitri says, raising his hand. What is this, school? "That sounds good."

"All right, cool." Sylvain turns to Felix. "Well? You decided? The car's moving." He gestures to the glaring taillights through the windshield, gradually pulling forward.

"Small fries," Felix says.

"And?"

"That's it."

"Nah. Get some calories in you, bitch, this is McDonald's."

Felix rolls his eyes. "Wonderwall" comes on. He's in actual Hell.

"Fine. A shake."

Sylvain throws his arms up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. A shake? Don't get McCrazy on me now!"

Felix McFucking® loses it.

There's a moment of silence in the car, a memorial to his lost patience. He reaches for the duct-taped door handle and opens the car door. There's commotion and chaos in the backseat, half _what-the-fuck-Felix_ and half laughter. Felix unbuckles his seatbelt and literally steps out of the vehicle, slamming the door behind him.

Sylvain's mouth drops open as he watches Felix walk down the drive-thru lane and away from the vehicle.

It's a long moment before he yells: "The _fuck!_ Felix! Get back in the fucking car!"

Ashe howls with laughter. Dedue's eyes narrow as he watches the scene. Dimitri fumbles with his seatbelt, rushing to Felix's rescue.

"Fe-liiiix!" Sylvain whines, head completely out of his window. "Come _on!_ Don't leave me, babe!"

Illuminated in the headlights, Felix, two middle fingers held aloft.

**Author's Note:**

> McDonald's is the place to rock.
> 
> Title from Wesley Willis's [Rock & Roll McDonald's](https://youtu.be/GDFaEBjA7PU), concept from the fact that my girlfriend literally said "Don't get McCrazy on me now" and all I could think of was Sylvain.
> 
> 🖕🖕 Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/arcana_black) if you wanna get McCrazy with me.


End file.
